DO SOMETHING TODAY THAT EMPOWERS YOUR TEENAGER FOR TOMORROW
To empower your Jacksonville youth is to give them the authority and confidence to make decisions, believe they can solve problems, and educate them on making good choices. Taking account from my own experience, it does not come easy or naturally for all parents. When you first become a parent, you are responsible for every little thing of your child’s life - it's frightening. As they get older, the idea shifts for them to gain some independence so they don't need you as much - it's horrifying. As we know sometimes it is quicker to just “do it" ourselves. A lot of the time it will make life with a teenager easier if they are catered to their every whim, and some Moms and Dads love to do it. But this flawed design can and probably will backfire. If you do not allow your child to make their own choices when they are able to, they will most likely fall down in the future when they need to be able to stand tall.
Educating and allowing your teen to conquer problems with their own skills will most likely set them up for success in the future. To accomplish this we parents need to invest in their teen's future starting today. This means the control has to be given up by the parents - we have turned another scary corner. This is uncomfortable a lot of the times and although teenage empowerment is difficult, it is so rewarding! When you see it put into magical display you will know that you have done well and given them the greatest gift - their independence, the self-identity, and confidence.
NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT EMPOWERING YOUR TEENAGER IS A NECESSARY ELEMENT, HOW DO YOU DO IT?
There are many ways to encourage and entrust your teen to make the best decisions, but where do you start? Since you love them so much and only want the best for them, that is actually where to begin. Remember that you are raising your tween/teen to be responsible adults of the future. Anything that you can prepare them for, and any lessons learned will be valuable mechanisms for their future. Think of it as “filling a toolbox”, or the parent's "best care package" as you help send them into the life held in the palm of their own hand.
11 STEPS TO EMPOWER YOUR TEENAGER
- BE THE EXAMPLE OF GOOD – By setting a good example for your children you are already putting in over half the work for them to stride right out into life. If they say live and see you being a positive light in this world it will resonate within themselves too usually. Exhibiting right from wrong is a great place to start.
- TEACH THEM TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT (but you are welcome to spy on them too) -This is where the age old idea of chores etc. comes into play. Teaching them to do laundry, cook, mow the grass, or anything that helps around the household will promote self-reliance. Their response may not be the most cheery of course, but you will know deep down that they are building core life skills and probably won't be isolated to just eating fish sticks for the rest of their lives.
- LET GO (to a point) – Cue the crying and breaking heart emojis! The childhood years feel like they fly by and letting go is so hard and kind of the worst feeling. They are going to start to pull away and evolve into their own person. That's right, they are in fact their own person and the best thing we can do for them is lay down a solid foundation and hope they walk across it when we are not around. Pro tip: Do not spend too much time looking at their baby pictures during this time because it just makes it worse.
- LET THEM CHOOSE SOME THINGS FOR THE FAMILY TOO – Allowing your teenager to make some choices for the family makes them feel seen, heard, important, and valued. It can be simple things such as choosing dinner, a movie, or event. The idea that they know and believe that their voice is heard within the household can one day be described as a game changer.
- ALLOW YOUR CHILD’S OPINION – Even if you do not agree with it, and a lot of times you will not, allowing your child to have an opinion that is heard and valued is so helpful. If they feel like valued people at home, they will carry that into school, workplaces, sports, and the community.
- TEACH YOUR CHILD TO HAVE BOUNDARIES AND TO RESPECT OTHER PEOPLES BOUNDARIES – Having boundaries and learning to stand up to protect them is very empowering for any person, and especially the teen crowd. Peer pressure will eventually come in and test their ability to stand up for what they believe in. They will have a personal mental debate within themselves about fitting in with the cool kids or not. This is a time for them to learn what is really important to them. Teaching to respect other people’s boundaries is a healthy and important part of growing up.
- LET THEM CHOOSE THEIR INTERESTS (and support that!) – Children will have many interests. And parents have many interests that they wish for their children. I see this a lot and the child just does the activities that the parents want. Exploring and trying different things is very important for tweens and teens. It is their time to experiment and see what they like. Just because you loved cheerleading or football does not mean that they have too. So many times they are not encouraged to branch out for themselves because parents will not support the exploration. When those children become adults, they experience regret, choose the wrong careers, and have feelings that they missed out. Please try and let your teen choose for themself. In my personal household this was one of the toughest parts for me to release and I will still stand up and say I do not understand the joy of Anime, but my teenage son thinks it would even be a cool tattoo 😲.
- EMPOWER YOUR TEENAGER BY LETTING THEM FAIL– We all do it. Raise your hand if you have never failed at anything. Failure is part of success and children need to know that there is no shame in it. Sometimes you need to try and fail many times to succeed. It is okay. Encourage your teenager to try new things with the understanding that they will fail sometimes, and when they do be there to support. You should always be their safe place when they fall. The irony to this step is I am completely petrified of failing, but by watching me his 17 years of life, my son is not scared to fail. He knows it is healthy and to just get back up and try again.
- TEACH THEM TO TAKE PRIDE AND CARE IN THEMSELVES – This comes naturally to some and not to others. Do they keep their rooms clean? Did they forget somewhere in the hormones overload that showers are best if done daily? Help them by expecting them to keep up with cleanliness of themselves and their surroundings. Include them in household projects when you can. These few simple tasks will help them to gain pride within themselves and of their things.
- TALK TO THEM ABOUT USING THEIR “GUT FEELINGS” – Does it look like a duck? Does it walk like a duck? Does it quack like a duck? It's probably a duck! Talk to your teen about this feeling and how they can use it to protect themselves in certain situations. If things do not feel right, if they get “weird vibes”, these could be signs to remove themselves from that situation. They should never feel like the have to be in an environment or event that is not feeling right to them.
- TALK TO THEM ABOUT USING THEIR “GUT FEELINGS” - There is that old saying about idle minds. I honestly don't know how it goes, but basically it stated that being bored or not busy can lead to negative outcomes. Keeping your teenager busy with things they enjoy too will help them appreciate being productive and possibly help them set goals for themselves.
